Bathroom Banter

fourth year paria fakhrai

 photo by kelsey dabrowski

photo by kelsey dabrowski

Debatably, the bathrooms that compose the Classic City and support its population’s depository needs are the backbone of this town. With a population consisting of 1/3 university students and a median age of 26, the consumption of caffeine and alcohol are expectedly higher-than-average, and thus, stresses the importance of the bathroom quality this city provides to its residents. After a thorough analysis, here’s a list of the ten worst to best bathrooms in Athens (sorry gentleman, I can only give the female perspective, but hey, impress your next date by giving her suggestions for the best bathroom experience):

10. Bourbon: With the distinguished rotting beer aroma, soggy floorboards sinking in beneath your feet, and a humid closet-sized room that hardly enables you and your bathroom buddy to wait together, it’s deserving of ranking #10.

9. The Grill: The fact that we all collectively avert our eyes away from the questionable health rating upon entering this establishment could very well help to explain the equally questionable bathrooms. With a reflective piece of cardboard for a mirror and one stall, it’s a doozy.

8. Main Library 4th Floor: Despite the cool and quirky ambiance of this study floor, the bathroom lacks the same qualities. Unless you’re shorter than 4’10’’, expect to make direct eye contact with everyone washing their hands as you stand up.

7. Centro: With an already compact first floor, the line for this single-stall bathroom usually requires a great sense of patience. The one redeeming quality is the 7-foot tall fan sitting right outside the door to help cool off and aids in crucial Beyoncé hair-flipping moments.

6. Boars: Although containing three stalls and even a full-length mirror, this establishment is known for its rancid bathrooms that often have a stall or two out-of-commission past a certain time of night. Proceed with caution.

5. 100 Proof: Plenty of stalls to provide the necessary efficiency needed in going-out endeavors. Catch is, two toilets lack any privacy by negating to add walls...or doors, but this does encourage making new friends!

4. MLC: Plenty of stalls, always clean, and no judgement when having a mental breakdown (or three) in the midst of a hell week. Need I say more?

3. Baldwin: These bathrooms are new, clean, and allow for plenty of privacy. Most notably, the stairs leading to them provide a scenic route with a view provided by floor-to-ceiling windows.

2. Caldwell 1st Floor: Multiple stalls, always incredibly clean, and a full-length mirror. We love a well-rounded bathroom, am I right ladies?

1. Buddha: This bathroom is designed with beautiful details and high-end fixtures, but the main reason for its #1 ranking is arguably because the nicest girls in the world exist inside. Prepare to receive plenty of compliments on your outfit and the reassurance you needed to finally end things with that guy that sucks.