Truth B. Told: An Honest University Student Resume

second year aysha jerald

 photo by stokes dunavan

photo by stokes dunavan

Truth B. Told

4 Privet Drive, Little Whinging, Surrey

605-475-6959  truthbtold@what.com

PROFESSIONAL PROFILE

Confused, inexperienced, and easily distracted university student slightly hesitant to contribute to any large, upscale organization. Recently received the Least Likely To Participate In Class Award, with additional honors in Meme Recognition and Binge Watching When I Should’ve Be Reading That Novel For Lit. Facilitator of sarcasm, daydreams, and awkward silences. Firm believer in both everything and nothing at all.
OBJECTIVE

I wish to be as frank as possible about who I am. There is no professional demeanor that I have prepared. No elevator speech that I have rehearsed. No flawless syntax that I have to boast. There is only this honest response, bare and unmasked for your consideration.

EDUCATION

University of Home Sweet Home

Bachelor of Common Sense degree expected in near future.

Major: Goofball

Minor: Procrastinator

GPA: That’s funny.

EXPERIENCE

I have had the experience working with the following organizations:

  1. Microsoft          Designer and Technical Supervisor                       Middle School-Present

    1. Created several PowerPoint presentations

    2. Drafted multiple Word documents

    3. Recently begun work within Excel sheets

  2. SnapChat          Daily Coordinator                                                  High School-Present

    1. Coordinated various daily posts via. application

    2. Gained efficiency in nonchalant design

  3. Ubisoft             Just Dance Practitioner                                          Birth-Present

    1. Experienced user of Just Dance software

    2. Specialist in all motions relating to Freestyle and Hip Hop

  4. Uber                Navigator and Tracker                   Since That One Time I Got Lost-Present

STRENGTHS

    • Interpersonal Communication

      • Ex: If I’m having a conversation with someone and they say something that I don’t hear, I can pretend like I did by smiling and/or laughing.

    • Empathy

      • Ex: Once while I was on a bus, the doors closed before this kid could run inside. Although I didn’t tell the bus driver to stop, I felt real bad for the kid.

    • Personal Motivation

      • Ex: My alarm clock is set to the song Power by Kanye West. Despite still missing most of my morning classes, I challenge myself to rise with the chorus every day.

WEAKNESSES

    • Obliviousness

      • Ex: My bookbag could be open all day long and I’ll still walk around like royalty.

    • Taking On Too Much Responsibility

      • Ex: Last week, I decided to recycle my trash. That was the beginning and the end.

    • Sensitivity

      • Ex: I cry everytime I watch Lion King. No joke. Every. Single. Time.

ACTIVITIES

  • Living My Best Life

  • Hitting Up That “Good-Good” Cookout At Midnight

  • Five Hour Power Naps

  • Dodging Freshman 15 Like A Pro

SUMMARY OF ACCOMPLISHMENTS

Honestly, I do not have a summary of my accomplishments. Granted, that doesn’t mean that I am not an accomplished person. Throughout my life, I’ve laughed, loved, and lived the way I intended too.

Truth be told, I don’t have my life together, and I am by no means perfect. However, that’s what makes me human, and that’s what makes this resume the most authentic and legitimate piece you’ll ever review.

You’re welcome.